Jye is a father of five kids – three of his own and two step kids and he lives in Newcastle, NSW. When he isn’t taking the kids to and from soccer training, he is working at Invictus Australia. It’s an organisation dedicated to helping all veterans and their families benefit from involvement with sporting communities. This is Jye’s story of finding the right support that worked for him.

I was in the Royal Air Force for nearly 12 years and medically discharged in 2019 with a spinal injury. Whilst that experience and the events that took place afterwards led to one of the most significant mental health challenges I have faced, it wasn’t the first time I had reach out for support.

Initially, when I was still in the Royal Air Force, I reached out to Open Arms because I was having marriage problems with my now ex-wife. We had suffered a miscarriage at our 20-week scan, and it was probably one of the hardest days of my life. Fortunately, we fell pregnant the following year, but I struggled to connect with the pregnancy. I think I was trying to protect myself. Reaching out to Open Arms during this time really helped, it was good to have someone to talk to.

Then in 2019, I was medically discharged from the Royal Air Force after a spinal injury, which completely changed my life. I was flown home from the Middle East in 2018 following the injury and received support straight away. It was a really challenging period of my life, and it took 12 months to receive a spinal fusion and shortly after that, my marriage broke down. The combination of everything led me to a dark place, where I had decided to end my life.

I was incredibly lucky that during my suicide attempt, my father found me and took me straight to hospital. I then received inpatient care at the hospital for four weeks. I really threw myself into the hospital program. Alcohol had become a bit of a coping mechanism for me and being told I could no longer drink was tough. All I could think about was the fact that now more than ever I needed a drink to get through this. Drinking had been such a big part of the culture in the Air Force, and I really didn’t know how to socialise without it. I used that 4-week hospital stay to kick start my journey towards sobriety. I knew I had to do it to have a relationship with my kids.

If I hadn’t got that help in hospital with the drinking, I wouldn’t be here today. I am 18 months’ sober. I’m happy to share my experience with others because I think reaching out for help is the most courageous thing to do and I’m a better person, better partner and better parent for it. I wouldn’t have this job or relationship without the support I received. My dad and his partner, who is a nurse, have also been a huge support with their understanding of mental health, particularly in ensuring that I got the help I needed. I ended up living with them after being discharged from hospital and they still live close by.

Life definitely hasn’t been easy since then and I did have another hospital stay but it has all been part of the journey. Luckily, I’ve known when I need to reach out for help.

I’ve been seeing psychologists on and off and I’m now only on one medication for my suicidal ideation. It took some time to find the right psychologist. The first one I didn’t click with but thankfully the next one I found has been great. You just have to be patient.

Now I get to use my experience to connect with people through Invictus Australia. Like me, even if the doctors say someone can’t do sport again, I’m there to help them get connected into some sort of sporting organisation, whether participating or volunteering. Getting people connected and enjoying themselves again is important.

I’d advise anyone who’s thinking of getting support to reach out to a psychologist. If there’s a wait time, have a chat with a mate. Sharing your problems with someone allows you to hear a different perspective. Find someone you trust and let them in. At the same time, reach out for help and support. Mental health affects a whole lot of people and the more we share, the stigma will go away. One of the most courageous things you can do is to go and get help. Mental health isn’t something that goes away; it’s something that many of us have to live with for the rest of our lives but with support, it allows you to live life the best you can.