Tim is 40 years old and based in Albury, in southern NSW. He grew up in the area, as did his wife, and they have both stayed locally to raise their four kids close to their extended families. Tim currently sits on the Albury Men’s Table, an organisation that brings together a group of men once a month with the intention of having a place to connect and talk about the highs and lows of their lives. This is Tim’s story of finding the right support that worked for him.

I have worked in a lot of different industries over the years but my time working as a youth worker five years ago, exposed me to the challenges of mental health. While working with young people, I became far more aware of the impact of mental health. When I started going through a tough time during COVID, I knew it was worth reaching out for support.

I rang a few helplines to get different perspectives and it really helped to get things off my chest. Relationships Victoria were quite good because I was having relationship issues at the time. It was handy to get everything out of my head and in some type of clear order, just to line everything up. Just talking to an outside perspective clarified so many things and I liked that they didn’t know me.

Although recently I have been in a pretty good space, my wife heard Michael from The Men’s Table talking about what they do, and I thought I could get involved as it would be good to talk to other blokes. While I catch up with my mates from high school regularly, the anonymity of The Men’s Table gave me a better chance to open up. Plus, with my mates the talk is at a lighter level, but we are working on this. The Men’s Table conversations tend to be deeper, and we talk about feelings. I was quite comfortable going into that space with my experience as a youth worker.

In saying that though, the best support for me – the most valuable thing – has been my mates. I only opened up to one or two at the beginning and, having used the helplines a lot, that helped me gain my confidence to talk about it with them.

The takeaway in terms of the best support, is talking – guys don’t often talk, we tend to bottle things up. Fortunately, this is changing, and it is more acceptable to open up and talk about your feelings. I hope that my example of speaking openly will show my sons it’s ok to share their emotions and feelings. When I was in my bad space I was doing carpentry with tradie blokes. I broke down and cried at work and the blokes were great at listening – talking about it helped. The acceptance was a great thing, and I felt no judgement.

My advice to anyone looking for support is to try the helplines because it encourages you to start talking. Then pick one mate and ask them to listen; when you open up, you’ll be surprised at their response.